Sometimes it can be difficult to put into words how I feel, but I can show it more easily visually. I think that having synesthesia allows me to connect with my emotions on a deeper level and to use it to express what it looks like instead of endlessly talking about I feel. Words never seem to hit the mark or connect with what I am trying to convey.
Words can be misinterpreted or misunderstood. There are so many associations to different words and we each experience what they mean differently. Trying to convey anything is only ever received by the recipient from where they are and through the meaning they attach to the words used, so they make a connection through how they relate to what is being said and can never really know what it means for me.
Art is also interpreted individually but it can invoke a feeling or knowing of what it is expressing so the viewer can create their own narrative around it and assume some sense of understanding of it and me on a different level.
Perhaps you know what I mean intuitively when you see a piece of my art. Perhaps it speaks to you, and when you look at my work you know what I was feeling at the time. Words just seem inferior to express the depth and richness of the feelings, sensations and emotions I am trying to convey.
Mental health is personal to us all and we each find ways to cope or manage it. Having an outlet really helps me to be present and to feel like I have expressed and released whatever was going on for me at any one time. Mindfulness and meditation allows me to connect with my emotions on a different level than most and perhaps that is how I am able to share them visually more easily.
Overwhelm seems to be a biggie for me at the moment. Menopause and brain fog have me running around chasing my tail. Always feeling like I’ve forgotten something or that I’m not good enough. Carrying those thoughts around just become self destructive for me so I have to stop and make time for them to be exposed, explored, expressed and let go of.
I’ve come to realise that it doesn’t matter if others don’t understand what I am trying to say, because everyone mostly listens from where they are. Showing how I feel visually seems to have a bigger impact and somehow creates a relationship between the outer and inner that others can relate too and understand from where they are without words having to be expressed.
Being creative is individual and you can’t do it wrong. How can your creative self expression be wrong? It is your expression and it is unique to you.
