Accepting What Is
We are conditioned to have likes and dislikes, however this one thing could be the source of most of our problems.
Of course having choices isn’t always a bad thing. We choose the foods we like, the clothes we like the way we want things to be, however when they are not that way we feel upset, anxious and stressed.
Wanting things to be different than what there are - especially if it is something that has already happened and can’t be changed - is the biggest challenges we face.
The only logical aim we can have is to accept life as it is. That has probably created a reaction within you. I’m not saying accept abuse, neglect or anything that puts you in danger either emotionally or physically. These are things that can be changed.
What I am talking about is allowing life to flow as it does and not according to some idea or thought of how you think it should be. We all know what it feels like to not have things ‘go our way’ as it were.
It feels bad when things don’t turn out according to how you think they ‘should’. When you think about it, how probable is it that life will work out exactly as you decided it should? Life is just doing life and we are running around feeling upset when it doesn’t do it according to our way things should be.
We have gotten so used to reacting to our situations, and it is our reactions which cause us the most problems. Since we have identified ourselves with they way thing are, and invested ourselves in ‘how we want it to be, if it isn’t we have strong reactions to it.
It is only our reaction and only we can change it. Our dislikes are really our resistances to ‘what is’ and stops us from seeing the beauty of life unfolding everywhere and in every moment.
Letting go of any personal agenda and being open to allowing life to be the way it is allows for a more functional and productive life experience. All we need do in any situation is see the miracle of Life in all and life will be more in flow for you.
By not living in the present and not accepting the current reality, we create more problems for ourselves. We get caught up in the emotions that follow, because we have chosen not to accept how things are, but rather react against them.
All this happens because we live in fear of bad things happening to us and hold strong beliefs about what things mean.. We believe our thoughts to be real and the only truth. We then use this information and compare it to our experiences and other people’s point of view.
When these don’t match, we have to either accept that perhaps we have been wrong in our thinking or defend ourselves against them. When seeing the situation in this way it is magnified. Our sense of self is threatened as our ego tries to make sense of what is happening, and fighting all the way.
Our tendency might be to become a victim of the circumstances or to attack. Either way, it only leads to more pain and suffering. We can’t change the situation as it has already happened so the only logical thing we can do is accept it. Find a solution, learn from it and take steps towards changing what we can while moving forward.
Once we notice all the likes and dislikes that enslave us, it becomes apparent how futile they are. Being led from one experience to another, like being on a roller coaster of emotions. What would happen if there were no cravings and aversions? What if we were just happy anyway? Not because of circumstances but because we chose to be?
When we let go of our thoughts and attachment to how things should be, a space appears in our mind. We feel free because we are just present in life and to whatever is actually happening instead of resisting it and always wanting it to be different.
Probably sounds improbable. or impossible to be able to do this. However, when we stop and think about it for a minute, it becomes apparent that it is the only logical thing to do. To find happiness within allows for a deep peace, as it doesn’t depend on any outside factors. It becomes our natural state of being.
We usually wait for something to happen before we can be happy. It is our state of mind and reactions that determine our experiences, not the situations themselves. Decide to be happy anyway, for we are all God. Perfect in every way.
Otherwise life is spent waiting for things to turn out the way we want them to. What a waste of life.
When life is considered a gift bringing valuable lessons for growth instead of there being a vengeful God handing out problems, we are free to the experience life without judgement of whether it is good or bad.
This goes for relationships and friendships too. True acceptance of another as they are allows for compassion and for their true essence to be revealed without the clouds of judgement upon them.
When people act out it is usually because things aren’t going the way they want them too and they don’t know what else to do so they fight, argue or defend themselves in other ways.
It is a beautiful experience. Acceptance brings love into consciousness and the experience of unconditional love that flows from that.
It is possible to undo past habitual behaviour patterns, although it may take time. There is no need for endless agonising.. All that is needed is a willingness and active participation in seeing the miracle of life in all.
When we let go of control we will see how futile it is to try to control life. Life that just functions without our input, that holds the planets in place, that functions perfectly without any input from us. Life is just being Itself and we act as if everything was a mistake that we need to fix.
Next time you find yourself in a challenging situation, why not try to take the time to observe the feelings and emotions that rise within you? Feel the power they have to overwhelm you and how quickly the reaction can happen. Know that this is ‘your’ reaction to the situation.
It may be impossible for a while, but try to just ‘be’ with the feelings. The other person is having the same surge of emotions through their body only they have chosen to give in to theirs (or perhaps not).
When we manage to observe and understand our reaction we will have started the process of breaking down the patterns and associations. It is a very powerful experience and once experienced, you will be amazed at how reactionary we are as humans and how unconsciously we live.
I find it useful to prevent judgement on another to hold in my heart – You are a perfect manifestation of Source and I am sorry I limited you by my perception. I see your radiance and perfection now.
This releases everyone involved. They are released from your judgment of them and you are free to experience the Truth of the person. They will respond to the acknowledgement of their perfection and feel the acceptance and unconditional nature of the interaction, without anything having to be said.
Learn to be the ‘observer’ in all the situations. Being aware of the other person and their behaviours really opens our eyes to their nature and where they are coming from.
We tend to be creatures of habit and the more we do something the more ingrained it becomes within us. Changing habits changes the experience of life. Instead of being rigid and limited in our perceptions, we can flow with life and be open to the unlimited possibilities available without resistance.
Acceptance of self and others, knowing that we are all manifestations of Source and that the behaviours we notice in another and judge them for are really only there because we collectively hold in consciousness, the possibility for perfection to be imperfect.
We see what we believe and convince ourselves that it is someone else’s fault. We take no responsibility for them or their situation. The fact we are seeing it makes it our responsibility since we are holding it in our consciousness to be possible.
There may be some resistance to the statement that your life situation has been a choice, however, by being human and thinking thoughts we are effectively choosing our next experience.
This is mostly done unconsciously as you would not consciously create the situations you find yourself in. Life is a result of unconscious thinking and behaviours.
There is only ever one problem, and that is not allowing life to be as it is.
The above all points to helping you understand your’e reactions and habits. We tend to assume everyone thinks and knows the same as we do, when in truth we all look at life in different ways, through different experiences, associations and beliefs which then affect the level of our consciousness and awareness.
Instead of judging another from where we are, know that they are only acting in accordance with what is right for them from where they are and the judgements and limitations that have been placed on them.
